How to Support a Family Member Transitioning to a Dementia Care Home

Supporting a loved one through the transition to a dementia care home can be one of the most challenging experiences you’ll ever face. This decision often comes after months, if not years, of weighing options and navigating the emotional, physical, and practical aspects of caring for someone with dementia. While moving a loved one into a personalized care facility is often the best option for their safety and well-being, it’s a change that can be filled with anxiety, uncertainty, and even guilt.

This guide offers practical tips for making the transition smoother for both your loved one and yourself. By focusing on communication, patience, and understanding, you can ease the emotional and logistical challenges that come with this big step.

1. Communicate Early and Openly

The first step in preparing your loved one for the transition is open communication. This can be tricky because people with dementia may struggle to understand or accept the change. However, maintaining transparency can help ease their fears.

Start the conversation early: If your loved one is still in the early stages of dementia and can comprehend their situation, it’s important to discuss the idea of moving into a dementia care home well before it becomes a necessity. This allows them to express their feelings and preferences.

Use simple and clear language: Avoid overwhelming your loved one with too much information at once. Break down the information into small, easy-to-understand explanations. For example, instead of saying, “We need to move you to a care home because it’s no longer safe for you to live at home,” try saying, “We’re going to visit a place where there are people who can help you more every day.”

Be honest but compassionate: Share the reasons for the move without emphasizing negative aspects. Instead of focusing on what they can’t do anymore, highlight how the care facility can improve their quality of life. You might say, “This place has people who can help you with cooking and cleaning, and there are activities you’ll enjoy.”

2. Involve Them in the Decision-Making Process

Whenever possible, give your loved one a sense of agency in the decision. Even small choices can help them feel more in control and less anxious.

Tour the facility together: If your loved one is still able to visit the care home, take them on a tour. Familiarize them with the environment, the staff, and the activities. Highlight positive aspects like a beautiful garden, friendly staff, or a cozy room that might help ease their anxiety.

Let them personalize their new space: If the facility allows, bring along familiar items from their current home to their new room—whether it’s their favourite blanket, family photos, or a beloved piece of furniture. This helps create a sense of familiarity in their new surroundings.

Allow them to make simple choices: Ask them what they’d like to bring or which room they prefer if there are options. The goal is to involve them as much as possible in decisions, even if it’s in small ways.

3. Create a Positive Association with the Move

When talking about the care home, frame it in a positive light. Emphasize that this new environment will offer comfort, safety, and social opportunities.

Talk about the benefits: Focus on how your loved one will receive the support they need, have access to medical care, and be around staff who specialize in dementia care. You can also point out the social aspects, such as group activities or events they may enjoy.

Visit the home more than once before the move: If possible, visit multiple times so your loved one can begin to recognize faces and get comfortable with the space. You might also arrange for them to participate in an activity before moving day, helping to build a routine.

4. Be Patient with Their Emotional Responses

It’s important to recognize that your loved one may react in unexpected ways—confusion, anger, sadness, or fear are all common responses to such a major life change. During this period, your patience will be essential.

Acknowledge their emotions: If they express fear or anger, validate their feelings instead of dismissing them. Say something like, “I know this is hard for you, and it’s okay to feel upset. I’m here to help you through it.”

Allow time for adjustment: Don’t expect your loved one to settle in right away. Adjusting to new daily routines and surroundings can take time. Encourage them to participate in activities and meet other residents, but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed.

Prepare for setbacks: It’s normal for your loved one to have good days and bad days, especially during the transition. Stay calm and offer reassurance when they’re struggling to adjust.

5. Stay Actively Involved After the Move

Just because your loved one is moving into a dementia care home doesn’t mean your involvement ends. In fact, maintaining a connection can help them feel supported and loved throughout the transition and beyond.

Visit frequently at first: Regular visits will reassure your loved one that they haven’t been “left behind” and that you’re still there for them. Try to establish a visiting schedule that they can rely on, even if visits are brief.

Communicate with the staff: Build a relationship with the caregivers and staff at the facility. Share important information about your loved one’s habits, preferences, and routines. Care staff can often offer advice on how to make visits more meaningful or how to support your loved one’s adjustment.

Encourage participation in activities: While it may take time for your loved one to become comfortable, gently encourage them to take part in group activities or events. These activities can help them build new friendships and find enjoyment in their new dementia-friendly environment.

6. Care for Yourself During the Process

Supporting a loved one with dementia is an emotionally taxing role, especially when transitioning them into a care home. It’s easy to become so focused on their needs that you forget to take care of yourself.

Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions: Guilt, sadness, relief, and anxiety are all normal reactions to this life change. Acknowledge your own feelings and seek support from friends, family, or a counsellor when needed.

Take breaks and set boundaries: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, especially if you’ve been the primary caregiver up until now. Allow yourself time to rest, both mentally and physically, by stepping back when you need to. Trust the care home staff to take over your loved one’s daily care.

Join a support group: Connecting with others going through similar experiences can be an immense source of comfort and practical advice. Many dementia care homes have support groups for family members where you can share your experiences and get guidance from others.

7. Keep the Focus on Quality of Life

Ultimately, the goal of moving your loved one to a dementia care home is to improve their quality of life. While the transition may feel difficult, especially at first, keep reminding yourself and your loved one of the benefits. Specialized care, safety, and access to trained professionals mean that your loved one will be in a place that is dedicated to their well-being.

By communicating openly, remaining patient, and showing ongoing support, you can make this transition a positive experience for your loved one and provide them with the compassionate care they need.

Final Thoughts

Helping a loved one transition to a dementia care home is never easy, but with empathy, preparation, and support, the process can become less daunting. Remember, this decision is made out of love and a desire to ensure their safety and comfort as they navigate the challenges of dementia.